Customers like to (re)use the methods of the support team … August 29, 2008
Posted by Dale in : Code Cutting, Funny Pictures, Humour , Comments
I was doing some code cutting the other day for a customer.
Indirectly.
I had sent a DOS batch file to Customer A, in response for an urgent fix request. The DOS batch file enables Customer A to use a particular web application.
The Help Desk send me an email, "Customer B have this VBscript file which doesn’t work."
Customer A shared the DOS batch file Customer B, who thought they’d have a stab at re-writing it into VBscript.
VBscript file received from Customer B:
Set objWSHShell = WScript.CreateObject("WScript.Shell")
objWSHShell.Run ("dosomething.exe /commandlineparameters", 3, True)
objWSHShell.Run ("dosomething2.exe /commandlineparameters", 3, True)
Now there’s a few problems with this file:
- no checking to see if dosomething.exe exists.
- no checking to see if dosomething.exe & dosomething2.exe return an error.
Here’s my ruggerised, ready for deployment version:
On Error GoTo 0Dim objWSHShell, objFSO
Dim sDoSomethingParameters, sDoSomethingFilePathName, sDoSomethingCommandString
Dim boolFileExists, boolResult
Dim intDoSomethingResult
Const intWindowStyleHideAndActivate = 0
sDoSomethingFilePathName = "C:\doer\DoSomething.exe"
boolResult = False
intDoSomethingResult = 555
Set objWSHShell = WScript.CreateObject("WScript.Shell")
Call fn_CheckIfFileExists(sDoSomethingFilePathName, boolFileExists)
If Not boolFileExists Then
‘ exit with File Does Not Exist
WScript.Quit (2318)
End If
sDoSomethingParameters = " -q -a qwerty"
sDoSomethingCommandString = sDoSomethingFilePathName + sDoSomethingParameters
intDoSomethingResult = objWSHShell.Run (sDoSomethingCommandString, intWindowStyleHideAndActivate, True)
If intDoSomethingResult <> 0 Then
‘ execution of DoSomething and parameters failed.
WScript.Quit (1708)
End If
‘ if we’re gotten here, it’s worked, and we can exit the script!
Wscript.quit (0)
~~~~~~~
Function fn_CheckIfFileExists(fnFilePathName, boolResult)
On Error Resume Next
Set objFSO = CreateObject("Scripting.FileSystemObject")
Set objFile = objFSO.GetFile(fnFilePathName)
On Error GoTo 0
If objFSO.FileExists(fnFilePathName) Then
boolResult = True
Else
boolResult = False
End If
Set objFSO = Nothing
Set objFile = Nothing
End Function
I’m reminded of the maxim:
Customers like to (re)use the methods of the support team, but they don’t really understand them.
If you click on the picture, you’ll get to view the powerpoint file, where I saw the original maxim.
Why I Blog - Not August 29, 2008
Posted by Dale in : Funny Pictures , Comments
(Helen Coonan was our Federal Minister for Communications, and strangely attractive, if you like that sort of look)
(cartoon borrowed from The Chaser)
Crusader August 27, 2008
Posted by Dale in : Funny Pictures , Comments
Saw this ad for Crusader weed killer in the Weekly Times, which is an agricultural paper published here.
No, we don’t have many Muslim farmers in Australia, strange that.
You’ve outsourced the helpdesk WHERE? August 25, 2008
Posted by Dale in : Last Job, Stories , Comments
Like many companies, my former employer offshored their Intranet helpdesk to India. First I knew of this was when I received an email
We’ve reset your password to abcd1234, and we’ll now close your Help Desk ticket
"WHAT HELP DESK TICKET!?!?!", I exclaimed to myself.
So I ring the Help Desk
CSC India, how can I be helping you?
"You’ve reset the wrong user account". A point which took 15 minutes to sink in with the bone headed Help Desk jockey. My password was finally reset but it took the best part of the day before I could log in (password had to replicate around the world).
Perhaps it was a coincidence, but a few days later, the Intranet logon page had a new option "I’ve forgotten my password", which eliminates the need to ever speak to the Help Desk ever again.
The morals of the story are:
- Offshoring your helpdesk because it’s cheaper and "everyone’s doing it" should not be your primarily motivation.
- The ability of users to fix their own problems ("I’ve forgotten my password") is a good idea.
- If your Help Desk offer such crummy service internally, what will your external customers think of them?
Made my day - ABC 774 Sundays with Helen Razer August 24, 2008
Posted by Dale in : Would Like To Meet , Comments
Sport, sport and more sport.
Which means that when there’s sport is on, you don’t get your normal broadcasts.
Which sucks.
Checked the ABC website to find out if Helen had jetted off on another holiday, but no, Helen was streaming live.
Yeah!
SMS’d my displeasure, and Rodney rang up. Would I go on the radio?
Eek!
But I got to converse with Helen, and that’s made my day.
What I love about "Sundays with Helen Razer" is Helen’s turn of phrase. Which makes Helen worth listening to.
Thanks Helen & Rodney.
Converting audio & video files - I recommend Super! August 23, 2008
Posted by Dale in : AudioVisual, Freeware, Utilities , Comments
Want to convert from one audio or video file format to another?
Have a look at Super. I’m really impressed with this utility as I needed to convert some AVI files into a format suitable for my PDA.
Other reasons you might use it? Convert from the strange OGG for a more mainstream MP3 or WMV format.
The colors I see on my screen are not the same as what prints out! August 18, 2008
Posted by Dale in : Printing, Psychic Troubleshooting , Comments
So you have a nice new shiny printer which can use CMYK color processing. CMYK is also known as four color processing.
And you wonder why:
The colors I see on my screen are not the same as what prints out.
Here are four reasons why:
- You’re using an application which only supports RGB colors (typical application: Microsoft Word/Publisher/Excel/Visio).
Your printer needs to convert the colors from RGB to CMYK. This color conversion is not always accurate. - How your computer display (CRT/LCD) is setup.
Ever wondered why your display screen manufacturer shipped color card(s) with your monitor? Color print matching is a reason. - Your using a PCL print driver, and not the Postscript driver.
Postscript printer drivers are more accurate at page/color rendering.
PCL is faster, and not so good at page/color rendering. - Paper being used
Photographic-type paper behaves differently (better) to normal paper.
Solutions:
- Use RGB if your printer driver supports it.
- Match application colour types to output color process type (CMYK to CMYK, RGB to RGB)
- Calibrate your computer display to the correct colors.
- Use a Postscript driver if you have it.
- Use RGB. Seriously. Use this color option if your printer supports it (almost most do).
- Get a printing consultant in.
If you need to do this you’re likely to be a graphic designer, and know all about things like four color processing & PANTONE colors.
Reference(s)
Digital Expert - Color Space Fundamentals
Dry Creek Photo - Monitor Calibration and Profiling
“Web delivers new worry for parents: Digital drugs” August 15, 2008
Posted by Dale in : AudioVisual, Podcast , CommentsQueue the IT news beat-up:
We all know that music can alter your mood. Sad songs can make you cry. Upbeat songs may give you an energy boost. But can music create the same effects as illegal drugs?
This seems like a ridiculous question. But websites are targeting your children with so-called digital drugs. These are audio files designed to induce drug-like effects.All your child needs is a music player and headphones.
Readers will remember I wrote about binaural tones here.
Benefits of Six Sigma August 13, 2008
Posted by Dale in : Last Job , Comments
They say that Six Sigma was created by a Motorola engineer, who ended up dying in the company cafeteria.
It’s all about cost-cutting. Sure, there are other benefits such as:
- Cost reduction (duh!)
- Culture charge
- Customer retention
- Cycle-time reduction
- Defect reduction
- Market-share growth
- Product/service development
- Productivity improvements
Now I think Six Sigma can work for you, but the two things I personally don’t like about it?
- takes too long to run a Six Sigma project.
- Six Sigma practitioners are known as "Belts", as in "I’m a Six Sigma Master Black Belt".
Yes, you do get a martial arts belt.
All too much wankery for me.
Tax checklist. August 12, 2008
Posted by Dale in : Personal , Comments
This is the checklist I use each year for my Australian Tax Return, in a handy Microsoft Word 97 format.
Drop me a line if you think of anything else to add.