Internet Dating – inbox zero

Off and On, I’ve tried the whole Internet Dating thing.  And I’ve met a couple of great women from those experiences.  This is not about those women.

I have learnt the following …

The male experience can be summed up by:
I know my inbox is empty ... have to check anyway

The female experience:
Can you see my boobs? Am I DTF? Do I want to see your dick pcs?

“We did Chucky, we did.”

If you’re of a certain age in Australia, you’ll recognise the title from a series of television advertisements for Telecom Australia’s Mobilenet cell phone network.  It features a big-talking American travelling in Australia with an Australian sidekick.

We did Chucky, we did.

The other phrase was “We do Chucky, we do.”.

It’s only a wafer thin change

“???”  Was the response.  Not old enough to remember, or know about Monty Python.  Of course, a “wafer thin” IT system change, often isn’t.  “Wafer thin” comes from the Monty Python “Meaning of Life” film.

Mr. Creosote’s response?  ““Go away.””

I should have known better than to use quotations from old films.

In a recent meeting I was in, there was discussion about changing an employee’s start time to 9:54am.  I said in reply,
“You’d have to pay a shift allowance if they started at 10am”
’That’s a co-incidence only.  We wouldn’t do something like that.’
“I’m shocked, shocked, to find that gambling is going on in here.”
Renault, in Casablanca,  said it better though.)

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“The Diary of a Microsoft Marketing Man”

Must remember not to have a mouthful of coffee while reading one of Phil Factor’s blog posts:

The Diary of a Microsoft Marketing Man

I woke up, in a ‘one stop’ process requiring a subtle paradigm shift. I was in my bed at home, a complete integrated platform. The Sun™ was streaming through the Windows™. The world outside seemed people-ready. To drive decisions on getting out of bed, I enumerated multiple insightful, timely reasons for aligning with domestic goals in a familiar and powerful way.

On reaching the kitchen, I achieved unparalleled connectivity in the kettle by plugging it in, and leveraged the capabilities of the toaster by switching it on in real time. Today, I felt I had a flexible and connected infrastructure around me. I empowered the agile and adaptive cat at every level by opening the cat-flap
(continues here)

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So you think you’re funny.

Those bunch of funsters over at Microsoft Education have found a way to measure humour as a job competency.  It makes me want to barf.

Level 1: Basic Level 2: Intermediate Level 3: Advanced Level 4: Expert

Generally uses humor in a positive way

Uses humor to bring people together

Knows exactly when and where a joke or story will be effective

Can see humor in almost everything

Is conscientious about timing and setting for humor

Uses humor to boost morale or decrease tension

Has a great sense of timing

Sought out by others for guidance in this area

Tries to defuse tense situations with appropriate humor

Uses humor to make for a more relaxed and productive atmosphere

Realizes when and where humor will backfire, and withholds

Uses humor as a uniting dynamic across a range of situations

Can laugh at self and others

Allows others to be funny

Understands that laughter makes a more comfortable meeting, classroom, etc

Recognizing and appreciates a great sense of humor in others

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