"For your tomorrow, we gave our today"

Shrine of Remembrance Family Explorer Trail picture

Update 2014:
While the 2013 Holiday program has ended, there are other Shrine activities on.  See here for details.


 

Is the quotation which springs to my mind when I visit the Melbourne Shrine of Remembrance.  As school holidays are nearly upon us, The Shrine of Remembrance reminds me that they are running a school holiday program.

Spring into Anzac School Holiday Program- Shrine of Remembrance, Melbourne

Spring into the spirit of Anzac and learn about Australian military history with the Shrine’s new Family Trail, full of educational and inspiring activities for families to do together.

Explore the Shrine’s building, gardens and memorials, discover the wartime jobs for men and women, and find out about the role fulfilled by animals during times of conflict. Families will have the opportunity to participate in a short commemorative ceremony featuring the Ray of Light.

All families who complete the spring school holiday program will receive a goody bag, Anzac biscuits and entry into a prize draw to win a $500 RACV Resorts voucher.

The Shrine of Remembrance would like to acknowledge the support of the RACV as competition sponsor for the spring school holiday program.

When:  Daily, Saturday 21 September – Sunday 6 October 2013, 10am – 4pm

Where: Shrine of Remembrance Visitor Centre.

Cost: Free, donations welcome.

Program length: 45-60 minutes

Suitable for: Ages 6-12

For more information : What’s on at The Shrine

Finding a “Bag Bag” these days.

rationell-variera-plastic-bag-dispenser__81809_PE207131_S4“Bag Bag” plastic bag holders were a 1990’s thing.  Essentially a “Bag “Bag” was a cloth bag with openings at the top and the bottom.  You put bags in the top, and draw them out the bottom as you need them.

Now Ikea has a “Rationell Variera Plastic Bag Dispenser”, but they’re only available in white and pink.  I like a bit of colour so white was out.  But since my manliness lately has taken a bit of a hit with pink-ish bed sheets, and then my hi-visibility pink phone cover, do you think I’d be silly enough to select pink this time around?

Not on your nelly.

So I kept looking.  Coles/Kmart/Woolworths etc. didn’t have them.

I was walking past the local “asian” bargain shop.  You know the kind of places, crammed full of “stuff” at dirt cheap prices…

After much searching, I found some.  In blue and *cough* pink.

Of course I went for the blue.

Plastic bag holder - 1Plastic Bag Holder - 2

The rules of lending a car, and why rental/company cars are more fun.

half fullA friend has let me borrow her car.

You can tell she’s clueless in the “let someone borrow your car” caper.  It’s got half a tank of fuel in it!

Doesn’t she know that you only lend a car when it has a quarter tank full of fuel in it???  Or less fuel preferably.  Provided it’s got enough gas in it to get to the closest gas station, that’s the way it’s done.

As far as a car goes, it’s ok.  Sure it’s hard to get the thing sliding sideways around corners, it’s got Electronic Stability Control.

It’s also got Anti-lock Braking as well.  So no locking all four wheels up.

And by jingo’s, it’s an automatic!  So no frying of a clutch plate is possible.

Sure, I could pull the electric fuses for the ABS and ESC systems, that was the trick with earlier company cars.

But I’ve been drilled in the lessons of bastardy known as the Army Q-Stores.

We didn’t issue it to you like that soldier, so double away and clean it so it’s shinier than new.

So it’s been washed, and it might even have a full tank of full in it.
[Geeze woman, what were you thinking when you parked it under a tree?!?  It became the preferred toilet space for every bird in a five mile range.  “Oh look, shiny clean car. Bombs away chaps! Splat!!”]

So I’ve covered off the rules of lending a friends car (no fuel, leave it grotty); now on to why company and rental cars are more fun!  From before the days of the internet, I present:

How to Recognise a Company Car

  1. They travel faster in all gears, especially reverse.
  2. They accelerate at a phenomenal rate.
  3. They enjoy much shorter braking distances.
  4. They can take speed bumps at twice the speed of private cars.
  5. They have a much tighter turning circle
  6. Battery and oil fluid levels; and tire pressures does not need to be checked
  7. The floor is shaped just like an ashtray.
  8. There is no limitation on the cheapest fuel that they can use.
  9. They do not have to be garaged at night.
  10. They can be driven up to 100 kilometres / 60 miles with the oil warning light on.
  11. They need cleaning less often, especially inside.
  12. The suspension is reinforced to allow carriage of concrete slabs and other heavy building materials.
  13. They are adapted to allow reverse to be engaged while the car is still moving forward.
  14. The tire side walls are designed for bumping into and over curbs.
  15. Unusual and alarming engine noises are easily eliminated by the adjustment of the radio volume control.
  16. No security is needed. They may be left anywhere, unlocked, with the keys in the ignition.
  17. They are built just right for towing boats and caravans.

Thoughtful gifts

I loath receiving cash or gift cards for my birthday.  Both scream “I couldn’t be bothered finding a present for you, so here’s some cash instead.”  So if people ask me want I want, I’ll happy give some items.  The first time I’d tried this for my 40th, it was a dismal failure.  For reasons I won’t go into.

Anyhow, this year I received two gifts, and they’re perfect.

Gift 1 – from two female friends of mine

Cute birthday card, 2 Gold Class tickets & a Joseph Joseph Pie™ kitchen timer.
I’ll have to find someone to go to a Gold Class movie.  The kitchen timer, unlike all the other timers I have, looks like a “pie slice” as it counts down.
Gift_oneGift_oneA

Gift 2 – from a friend I met when I volunteered at an animal shelter.
I’ll treasure both the card and the key ring, as they remind me of Vadar the Vizsla and Nikki the Weimaraner,
Gift_two

(the card is from www.kirstypilkington.com.au/cards.html )

“Are you a cross-dresser?”

asked a friend when they saw my choice of bed and bed sheets:
old bed cover 200

I wanted something light and bright.  A bit of a new start and that.  Co-incidentally the Ikea bed and the bed sheets were cheap.

By the time, the third friend queried my choice of bedding, I realised that I should have gone for the Dexter Morgan/Serial Killer themed sheets; and perhaps a goth inspired dark wood framed bed.

Oh well, in the meantime, this’ll have to do:
new bed cover 200

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Richmond lost…

20110703-1927-32

First AFL/VFL football game I’ve been to in 30+ years, and Richmond was comprehensively thumped by Carlton (Round 16).

The final score was Richmond (12.9.81) Carlton (28.16.184).

Richmond is playing Geelong on Sunday.  Hopefully their losing streak will end.

Little Lord Jesus would be happy

Camera 360I always confuse the terms “Manga” and “Hentai”.

I’m an IT Guy, but I’m not into Japanese Anime, which explains why I can’t remember which is the pornography, and which isn’t.

But with the assistance of my local religious bookstore, I can now remember that Manga is not pornographic and ummm, Hentai is. 
(Wikipedia has a “”delightful”” NOT SAFE FOR WORK Hentai photo – NO I’m not linking to it.  I wonder if Wikipedia also have a felching picture)

The Manga Bibles didn’t seem that bad, but I already have enough bibles as it is.

What a muppet.

KennyThis is what annoys me the most, this stuff.   ‘Davo waz here’.  Can’t spell for a starter.  Davo was here.  What a claim to fame that is.  Imagine if he went to, imagine if he got to the Eiffel Tower, he’d want a golden handshake, a brass band and a fireworks show.  This is his claim to fame, he’s been to our shitter.  What a fucking muppet.

– Kenny, from the film Kenny

I don’t mind graffiti, a lot of it is tastefully done.  What gives me the shits are the moronic taggers.

Such as the muppets on the 18:43 Frankston train the other night.

I was sitting in the last carriage of the train, and I kept hearing the drivers cab door slide open and shut.  I thought to myself, it’ll be either a train driver or an authorised officer travelling in the rear driver’s cab.

I’d be wrong though.  When I got to my station, I got off and looked.

Muppet bloody taggers.  They’d tagged all over the inside of the cab.  They bolted when they saw me looking at them.  Called up the driver, who wondered down and checked it out.  Ten minutes later, off went the train.

I hope they catch the little bastards.

Just like dating site photos really. Not that realistic …

I’m currently looking for a place to live.  Now, provided the house/apartment is clean, and the neighbours aren’t drug dealing crack hoes, I’d be satisfied.   So the adventure began, looking for a suitable place.

The photo on the left, is what the real estate agent showed on their website.  On the right, what it actually looks like:
Footscray
(only $195 a week for this beauty.  The view out of the front window is an un-kept garden.  If you could see past the weeds, you’d see the support wall for a freeway overpass.)

You can take it as a given, that if the real estate agent doesn’t have a photo of the backyard, it’ll be a rubbish dump:
IndweStreet 
($260 for this 3 bedroom house.  It actually wasn’t bad.  The backyard was a waste dump)

So the search continues …