Category Archives: Humour
Humourous things I’ve seen or heard.
Internet Dating – inbox zero
Off and On, I’ve tried the whole Internet Dating thing. And I’ve met a couple of great women from those experiences. This is not about those women.
I have learnt the following …
The male experience can be summed up by:
The female experience:
Comedians I missed this year at the 2014 Melbourne International Comedy Festival.
These comedians are on my list for next year:
- Cam Knight
- Celia Pacquola
- Jennifer Wong
- Sonia Di Ioria
- Rose Callaghan
- Lana Schwarcz
- Hayley Brennan
- Beau Stegmann
- Alexis Simmonds
(unless I can catch them next time they perform in Melbourne).
Cheap Daewoo Nubira Wagon – Paintwork could use some work.
(as seen in a Melbourne CBD carpark – Thursday)
I am not a “Trekkie”, so I don’t want to see your
cool Android Phaser application. It only reinforces your nerdiness…
I’d respect you a bit more if you had a coffee cup with this on it:
(sadly, the company which makes these is no longer around).
“We did Chucky, we did.”
If you’re of a certain age in Australia, you’ll recognise the title from a series of television advertisements for Telecom Australia’s Mobilenet cell phone network. It features a big-talking American travelling in Australia with an Australian sidekick.
We did Chucky, we did.
The other phrase was “We do Chucky, we do.”.
It’s only a wafer thin change
“???” Was the response. Not old enough to remember, or know about Monty Python. Of course, a “wafer thin” IT system change, often isn’t. “Wafer thin” comes from the Monty Python “Meaning of Life” film.
Mr. Creosote’s response? ““Go away.””
I should have known better than to use quotations from old films.
In a recent meeting I was in, there was discussion about changing an employee’s start time to 9:54am. I said in reply,
“You’d have to pay a shift allowance if they started at 10am”
’That’s a co-incidence only. We wouldn’t do something like that.’
“I’m shocked, shocked, to find that gambling is going on in here.”
(Renault, in Casablanca, said it better though.)
“The Diary of a Microsoft Marketing Man”
Must remember not to have a mouthful of coffee while reading one of Phil Factor’s blog posts:
The Diary of a Microsoft Marketing Man
I woke up, in a ‘one stop’ process requiring a subtle paradigm shift. I was in my bed at home, a complete integrated platform. The Sun™ was streaming through the Windows™. The world outside seemed people-ready. To drive decisions on getting out of bed, I enumerated multiple insightful, timely reasons for aligning with domestic goals in a familiar and powerful way.
On reaching the kitchen, I achieved unparalleled connectivity in the kettle by plugging it in, and leveraged the capabilities of the toaster by switching it on in real time. Today, I felt I had a flexible and connected infrastructure around me. I empowered the agile and adaptive cat at every level by opening the cat-flap
(continues here)